TO CATCH A MOONBEAM

After sharing over seven long years of struggle and battle with the most insidious disease the world has ever known, my wife Naoma, has finally given up the futile battle and surrendered to the inevitable. This once vibrant, kind and intelligent woman has entered into the final stages of Alzheimers disease!

The anger in each of us has now ebbed to a dying ember and the moments of defiance are becoming farther and farther apart as she slowly loses her battle for self expression and identification. Her speech is now limited to a few simple words and she expresses her needs and desires with impatient signs and gestures. As she regresses into oblivion I adapt as best I can to meet her needs at any given moment. Sometimes I fail and she will strike out in anger and frustration but these times are becoming farther and farther apart!

To share in this tragedy, day in and day out is both a blessing and a heartache. I watch as she opens a Christmas card and stares at it for a long time. All of a sudden she discovers a picture enclosed. She jumps up and comes over to me yelling "Sister, sister," pointing to the picture then holding the card and photograph close to her breast. She then goes into her bedroom and places them in her treasure chest alongside her baby doll that cries and says "Mama." The doll is her greatest treasure!

Sometimes at night she will awaken me. She will be standing beside the bed, bending over and tucking me in. She will pat my shoulder, kiss my cheek and return to her side of the bed. It is as if I was her child and it is her responsibility to see to my welfare. The last vestiges of motherly instincts!

It is at these moments that I realize the pain and agony in this long and slow journey into oblivion and beyond. My heart aches for her inability to share with me the blessings of a lifetime and the memories they represent. I can only hold her and recall these moments for us both!

The shadows lengthen, the earth turns and the sun seems to hasten its pace on the long journey to a south sea island and beyond, to return again tomorrow………locked into an eternal cycle that is so refreshingly reassuring.

A young man reaches out to catch a fading sunbeam. It seems such an easy thing to do at the moment! In an instant, the sunbeams are gone and the blazing scarlet sky dims to an ashen ember and he is alone in quiet solitude.

He catches a glimpse of the first star which seems to twinkle a secret code to nature’s own unique orchestra as he hears the first notes rise from a lily pad podium. He is totally immersed in a fantastic symphony as each emerging star begins to conduct it’s own private band in perfect harmony. He listens, enchanted!

A moonbeam, a silent visual echo from his elusive sunbeam, reflects a cool silvery sliver across his shoulder. He resists the urge to reach out and catch the magic of its glow. It transmits a wordless message from afar and he is at ease with an inner peace and joy.

A gentle breeze rustles the leaves spreading a compounded essence of pine needles, wild roses, honeysuckle and new mown hay. He is suddenly aware of yet another familiar fragrance. He turns as the moonbeam cast its spotlight on her lovely face. She seems to float toward him as she places her finger to her lips, signaling silence.

She reaches out and takes his hand in hers. He feels the transfusion of love as she cups his face so gently in her hands and ever so lightly brushes her lips to his. He tastes the delicious nectar of love.

He reaches out and captures the magic of his own special moonbeam and they are one.

She smiles and they both know a new life has begun!

There within the moonlit magic
Moments spent so long ago
We find the seeds of love eternal
And the space for them to grow!
In the growing, onward flowing,
Love again becomes full blown,
Maturing slowly into sunlight,
Reflected seeds to be re-sown!