STAND IN THAT LINE

I had just recently moved back to the state of Florida and after a month or so it became necessary that I immediately obtain a Florida license plate and driver’s license.

I gathered up all my registration, license, title, insurance papers and all other sundry documents and proceeded to the nearest local state automobile tag agency.

At the particular agency I chose, the receptionist is just inside the front door and to the immediate right……..and I do mean immediate, she was practically in the front door. The result of some stupid civil servant supervisor designating this spot for the receptionist was a continuous line out the front door and on into the street. Not one thought was given to the public, come rain or shine!

With a pressing need for the aforementioned items I went to the rear of the line. We ambled ever so slowly through three rain squalls and at last I was able to hand the receptionist my rain soaked documents. She immediately fired up her computer and after entering all the pertinent data she looked over her peeper specs and said, "That will be $398.50, stand in that line!" She tossed me my rain soaked documents and a computerized bill!

Now, I was in no mood at that time, standing there dripping wet, to listen to practical jokes and replied "What for?"

"Use tax on your automobile" she replied. I had left my old bill of sale with my title and this little old lady in peeper specs in a few seconds flat had come up with a tax of $398.50 since I now resided in the state of Florida. I explained that this was not a new car and I did not owe any use tax. She looked back at the computer screen and seemed to agree with me.

She then handed me a piece of paper to obtain my license plate and said, "That will be $34.50, stand in that line," pointing to a line next to the back wall.

Noticing that particular line didn’t go anywhere I asked, "What is that line for?"

"That" she said "Is the line you get into to find out what line you get into to get your license plates……..they’re in alphabetical order." Like I was stupid or something!

Relieved that she had said nothing more about the $398.50 for use tax, damned if I didn’t get into that line just like she directed. In a few minutes here comes another little old lady in peeper specs grabbing wet documents from standee’s hands, pointing to various lines saying "Stand in that line. I was directed to line four. It wasn’t in alphabetical order after all!

I finally got up to the window and handed the lady my wet papers. For some unknown reason, no one ever spells my name correctly. Most of the time I just get disgusted and take whatever handle they choose to impose upon me but I felt these documents should reflect the proper spelling. After four attempts she got it correct and handed me a new registration slip and said, "Stand in that line."

That line led to the cashier!

Again, I went to the rear of the line and finally got to the window cage of the cashier. I presented my slip and check for $34.50. Pointing to a small sign on the wall behind the cage she said, "We are not permitted to take personal checks……..we will, of course, but we will have to wait fourteen days or until your check clears and then we will mail your plates to you. That will cost you an extra $5.00 though!"

I didn’t have that much money in cash! I had to go home, get another check and proceed to the bank and get the cash to pay for my license plates.

You would think that when I returned to the tag agency I could proceed right up to the cashier, hand her the cash and get my plates. No sireeeee……..I was processed right back through those lines again!

When the lady handed me my tags she shook her head from side to side and when I turned to leave she turned, looking over her peeper specs and said to a co-worker, "It’s really sad, some people simply cannot follow instructions!"