ALIEN

Consider:
If you were an alien
Named Self,
Sent to earth
To study
Homo sapiens
And you crashed your space pod
Into a Mississippi swamp,
You would have to think of Self
In order to
Survive.
Even aliens have Self preservation.
Instincts
Being universal.

Self discovers quickly
That he is in a war zone.
The male species
Of these
Homo sapiens
Must have declared war upon
Some things of beauty
Called deers,
Deers not Dears.
Self could not understand
The plurality of the word deer,
Or the spelling of the word
Instinct!
To Self men stank.

It was self evident to Self
That this war was
Unfair!
These Homo sapiens
Were not fleet of foot,
And most were deaf
As a result whistling Dixie.
And they couldn’t smell
A dear
With the cud of snuff
Lingering, lingering, lingering
In his lower lip!
Until he had to spit,
Usually on himself!

Then Self
Started to talk to him self
About these homo’s.
(Self caught on quickly)
They were an ingenious lot!
They owned pick ups,
Trucks, that is
And shot guns,
Symbols of machismos,
Like cowboys of the old west,
With, horses and six shooters
And other paraphernalia.
Fearsome items, they supposed,
For deer and dears!

Self observed
These homos had no intentions
Of taking these four by fours,
These pick ups, that is,
Off the highway
For man, or God, or deer!
They had four wheelers
And faith in a pitch man
Who claimed they could go any where
A damned deer could go!
And twice as fast.
More or less, the truth
If you could find a brave man to drive
Like a deer!

Brave men are plentiful
In Mississippi!
Self observed,
(In alien did Self mutter something
like and . . . . . . and stupid?)
(I am getting more observant.)
Just as he first saw the
Browning automatic.
The homo’s pride and joy,
His plaything, his toy!
He unsaddled then and there,
Dropped his pants,
Spit,
And reached for a leaf!

"The deer are safe,"
Self said to Elf (His rescuer)
"The Homos are stupid and will loose the war.
When he allowed that a good dump
Is sometimes better
Than sex,
I gotta tell you, Elf. . .
I don’t know how to take a crap
Or he doesn’t know how to . . . .
Elf
What is that word?
Here have some of this.
Its called snuff!
Or did he say stuff?"